03 February 2013

My Last Day...

... Before becoming old.  Tomorrow I turn 60.  Many feelings rise up, but most prominently a sense of not having done enough with the years I have lived.  In preparing my sermon this week I stumbled across a blog that had this comment:


“I was feeling depressed because I was in a bookstore filled with literally tens of thousands of books and I was thinking about my own stalled writing career. I was in the China section, reading the back cover of a book about China by a journalist who was at least five years younger than me and it was his SECOND book. In addition, he was the China correspondent for the New Yorker. Did I mention he was five years younger than me?”


And the woman writing it is young enough to be my daughter...

Sense and reason and maturity tell me this is a tempest in my own teapot of a psyche.  By all objective measures I have been a good worker, a decent husband, a respectable father and these alone are sufficient.  But as one of those boomer kids whose parents and teachers told him he had great potential, that felt more like a burden than a liberation.  I got it into myself that something was expected (though I was not quite sure what) and if I did not meet that expectation I was letting everyone down. 

So my resolution, as I start my personal new year as a new born of the elderly, is to find a way forget about potential and expectations altogether.  Yes, that's the ticket.

Anybody have any ideas how?  I could use some...

1 comment:

AnneH said...

Happy Birthday Fred! Celebrate them all!

I made sure I made it to Scotland during my 60th year and went back to a creative activity - in my case, knitting.

Welcome to the 60s.