18 April 2009

Not Crazy, But Not Sane

My mood has been unaccoutably merry of late. The world is no better than before, arguably worse. Challenges at work are more not less. Scrupulous analysis leaves me no choice but to attribute it to sunshine and warm air.

After a very long, very cold and very snowy winter; during which I felt very cold and snowy inwardly as well; the presence of vitality in the land has seeped into me so much that even as I contemplate genuine struggles and problems my mood is still positive.

To say we are connected to the world is a truism amounting to a cliche. But to sense how pervasive this us, how much the climate is both subjective and objective, is quite startling. It is also prompts to look back on my youth and to my own mother who was more and more affected by the seasons as she aged.

Much as she loved her Vermont home and town where she and my father lived for almost half their their lives, I believe the intensity of the seasons there compared to the milder world where she grew up down south drew her into what I would call sub-clinical bipolarity. Her highs were a little higher than average, and her lows a little lower as well.

I say this because, as you can infer from the title and my first sentences, the same thing is happening to me.

We live in a world that wants a clear line between normal and abnormal, between crazy and insane, but there is no tidy little line. Yes, the extremes are evident, but the spot where one moves from emotional to moody, from moody to eccentric, from eccentric to strange, is not easy to find.

I must ponder this. You should too. But today is too sunny to spend much thought on that. Time to play!

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